Ok. So I am going to give you some amazing relationship advice now. The art of Sexting. Yes, you read that correctly. Sexting. It may sound silly but it can make such a difference to your relationship. Sexting is all about playing a role and setting the scene. It can be a great way to have foreplay long before you are physically near someone. Sexting is a great way to bring some fun and playfulness into your relationship and also explore ideas of what you may like to do. In fact, there are studies that show that couples who sext show a more positive sexual and emotional engagement with their partner. You can check out that link below.
So what is sexting?
Sexting is basically sending or receiving sexually explicit of suggestive images, messages or video. I want to point out, the difference between sexually explicit or suggestive. These can be messages that are all about feeling sexy and great in your skin to full blown nudes (which btw, need to be either asked for or agreed to BEFORE being sent!!). Sexting gets a bad wrap because many people either don’t ask consent first or abuse the power. But between a couple, it can be a great starter to some fun sexual experiences. So here are some tips:
- Start slow. Its important to feel comfortable and confident when sexting. Half the fun is in seeing the cheek and assurance from the person sexting. You can talk about how you are feeling sexy in a new outfit or looking forward to seeing them when they get home or talk about how you are thinking about a time you had before. Something that breaks the ice and gets the conversation going
- Wait for a response. As excited as you may be, and especially if its your first time, wait for the other person to reply before bombarding them. It may take a while, but don’t lose hope. And if the worst case scenario happens and you don’t get a reply, it could be a great conversation starter to let your partner know what you were trying to do. Honesty is always important and sharing how this may help you get in the mood and connect on a different level can be a gamechanger.
- Use emojis. This is the really fun part, because it leaves something to the imagination. It can also be hilarious and fun to try to work out what the person was actually trying to say. Again, the more playful this is, the better
- Mirror the person. If they are giving you long lengthy messages, try doing the same if you can. It helps to match each other and both feel like you are invested
- Know you are role-playing. This is a great chance to step outside yourself and explore some other fun parts to yourself. You don’t have be the “Jack and Jill” that you always are. Or the mum, or the employee or boss or CEO. This is your time to think about something that turns you on, or you want to try or explore. Just go with it and see what happens
- Talk about what makes you feel good. This isn’t to impress someone else, its to explore YOU. So use it a chance to think about that. No two couples will have the exact same sexts, and that’s what is so amazing about it. Relax and let your mind wander.
- Leave something to the imagination. Leaving a text with, you will have to find out later or wait until I see you next or just wait and see leaves the other person wanting more. And that is a great way to start foreplay. So while you should go for gold and think of all the things you want, also know that you can leave a little wanting as well.
- Hand over control. Let the other person take control for a while and lead you. You may find out some amazing things about your partner but also yourself. It also helps the two-way communication and gives you both a chance to be in the driver seat.
- Know when to stop. If the person isn’t replying or it is becoming too intense, it is important to stop. No one wants unsolicited sexual messages or to feel needy because you aren’t getting what you want. As with all these things, its trial and error, so if its not working, don’t worry and move on to something else.
Pro Tip: If you are taking pics, please delete them off your phone after. No one wants to hand over a phone to someone randomly and have them see the inner workings of your vag! Unless of course you love that, in which case power to you!!!
Hopefully this gives you something to work with and try. I encourage everyone to give it a go and let us know how it goes.